Work experience woes

My word.

This monster is getting out of hand.

Ok, so I think I’ve got it sorted. My little brother’s friend’s mother works in a really cool job at the Oxford University Press. When I gave her a call she mentioned words like ‘software’ and ‘design’ and ‘team’ and other alien dialect that sounded really cool yet frightening.

I mean, if you’re as uncultured as I am, you get frightened of printers, photocopiers, and staplers, and creepy Year 7′s that glare at you over the canteen tables like you’re a monster and make me feel impossibly vulnerable and victimized and even though I am four years older, I feel like the one being subjected to pedophilia abuse.

Not even kidding. This really happens to me.  Help

Ahem. Back to the point.

My Current Biggest problem: phone-a-phobia.

I am terrified mildly concerned about making and taking phone calls. Which is odd because I can’t even see the freaking people I’m talking too.

Of course, if you’re a friend, like, of course, ‘Hey honey, how ya doin’?! Long time no see, y’all!!’ (no I don’t speak like that, I actually speak in a really snobby Oxfordian accent and enquire politely ‘How de do?’ and all… OK half of that was a lie.)

Right. I should stop talking, now, and do something about it.

*sobs*

Arang: “When yo…

Arang: “When you find your mother, what will you do?
Eun-oh: “I’ll ask her what I meant to her.”
Arang: “That’s all?”
Eun-oh: “We’ll go far away, and live together just the two of us.”
Arang: “Just you two?”
Eun-oh: …
Arang: “When you find your mother, I’ll probably be in heaven, won’t I?”
Eun-oh: “You’ll probably be in heaven.”

from a crazy awesome korean drama called Arang and the Magistrate, but taken from it’s context, i find these words haunting and they strangely draw me to them. it’s beautiful

Wuthering Heights

I finished reading this book this morning, and as soon as I put it down I thought -

‘What a messed up book!’

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What I meant, exactly, will be clarified shortly. Please don’t assume book-smashing is going on here…

I and the rest of the 90 girls in my year are required to read Wuthering Heights during the summer holidays, which as you see, are going on now… I’d read it about 3 years ago when I went to Korea (another story) but I rightly thought that I needed to re-read it –  the fact of which became apparent when I realized I had hardly understood the book at all in 2009, and had missed the crucial plot points…!

Now, I have read it in a good stretch, and it’s all free and clear in my mind. Phew.

So, here goes:

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Wuthering Heights

Author: Emily Bronte

Published 1847.

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At first, you may feel utterly confused, bored or both.

Don’t worry. That’s normal.

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Onion story telling

It’s because the story of Heathcliff and Catherine Earnshaw, which is one of the first things people think of concerning Wuthering Heights, is not directly told by the first narrator at first…. if that makes sense.

In a way that makes it similar to the way Frankenstein is structured (the ship’s captain picks Frankenstein up near the Arctic Circle or something and then listens to his story), but it’s more complicated than that.

Mr. Lockwood, the first narrator, comes to rent Thrushcross Grange, and meets his landlord – Heathcliff. Intrigued by him, and the other people living at Wuthering Heights, such as Hareton Earnshaw and Catherine Heathcliff, he asks his housekeeper at the Grange, Ellen Dean, to tell  him the history of the family there.

Ellen or ‘Nelly’  becomes the secondary narrator, and narrates a lot more than Lockwood does. She thus reveals the real history of that, well, um, messed up family. Which is no exaggeration.

These sort of ‘layers’ of storytelling can become confusing or entangled as the layers are ‘laid on’ or ‘peeled’ (especially when people other than Lockwood and Nelly have these super long monologues that are kind of like narrating), but no fear. Just read carefully through the knots and get your head around them, because it really isn’t that difficult.

Thus, Onion story telling!

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Messed up characters

And not just one or two!

Let’s produce a list! (Warning: Contains spoilers)

(btw the family situations and relationships are also extremely complicated. I will deal with that.)

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Children / Early years

1. Hindley Earnshaw. Hates Heathcliff because Hindley’s dad likes Heathcliff (a child he found randomly in Liverpool, no less!) better than he likes Hindley.

2. Heathcliff. Hates Hindley back. Likes Catherine. A lot. Very silent, serious. Won’t laugh…

3. Catherine Earnshaw. Hindley’s sister. Likes  Heathcliff. A lot. Has a quite frankly annoying temper and spirit.

4. Edgar Linton. Not much messed up about him, but he’s weak and a bit annoying and effeminate… Opposite poles to Heathcliff, then.

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Adult years

1. Hindley Earnshaw. Has a kid and a wife. Wife dies. Hindley gets depressed and violent and starts drowning himself in the demon drink. Well done.

2. Catherine Earnshaw. Since Heathcliff’s disappearance has married a rather, let’s be honest, milk and water chap called.. you guessed it! Edgar Linton. Hmm… not marrying the man you love truly isn’t a good idea in books, is it now? And….

3. Heathcliff. Comes back. And finds Catherine has married Edgar. Oh dear… Here starts his master plan for revenge. Not even kidding.

4. Isabella Linton. Edgar’s rather annoying sister who’s convinced she loves Cliffy here. Marries him, gets terrified of him, runs away from him and has their child far far away. Pffft.

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2nd Generation Weirdos

1. Hareton Earnshaw. Hindley’s son. Nice, strong, good-looking guy. Rightful master of Wuthering Heights… which is now being completely ruled by Heathcliff, as Hindley had basically got himself into huge debt of Heathcliff until Heathcliff had complete sway over him. Hareton is reduced to the role of servant. It doesn’t help that instead of resenting and hating Heathcliff for doing this to him (making him illiterate, taking over his home), rather, he respects and loves him. He probably didn’t even know that Heathcliff wasn’t all that roses and  honey-ish concerning his inheritance. He was the only one who cried when Heathcliff died except for perhaps Catherine’s ghost who was probably crying for joy hahaahaha … very craazy. Has a tumultuous relationship with…

2. Catherine Linton/Heathcliff/Earnshaw. Yeah. This girl ends up owning all the key player’s surnames in the story. First Linton, because she’s the daughter of Catherine and Edgar Linton. Yeah. Ain’t it so typical Emily had to name her after her crazy as… mother? Just inconvenient, you might think, but I think it was a sort of genius too. At the beginning, our lovely bumbling idiot Lockwood goes and puts his foot in it making loads of wrong assumptions about his landlord’s family and ends up getting frozen rather than welcomed by the crew at W.H.

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It’s putting it mildly to say that our year at school had complete Wuthering Heights fever. We got driven pretty crazy by renditions of Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights song which literally became ubiquitous in and out of the lessons and everything… went… just. Well, we’re pretty glad we’ve stopped studying it. We’re ignoring the fact we probably have to read it ALL OVER AGAIN in the christmas holidays to revise. LIKE HELL I’M GOING TO.

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Ahem.

Well, back to WH. Typical Bronte style of writing. Which usually entails quite detailed writing which is, er… old fashioned, but you really can’t criticise with that, can you? Emily Bronte really sounds just like her sister Charlotte who wrote Jane Eyre. Maybe everyone sounded like that in those days I don’t know ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

It has a lot of the long winded ways of putting things across, so if I was Emily Bronte and I wanted to say, oh, I don’t know, I fell down the stairs because I tripped over that stupid fat cat, then she would sort of say,

‘Oh, alas, but that traitorous gloating glutton of a false feline was in my line of trajectory and thus, oh horrible day, my ankle was caught on that extensive backside and I found myself making the rest of the journey not on foot, as I usually in the habit of doing, but no, flying through the air no better than one of those cheap dirty flying saucers those kids like to chuck around these days! Kids!’

Haha. No. Emily would have written it much more elegantly and tastefully and more effectively and beautifully than what I have done here.

But… you get the idea, non? Heh heh hee..

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I’m sorry. This is not the best ever ‘review’… but I hope I have given you a little more information about Wuthering Heights. I will probably edit this post again in the future to improve it.

Phobia trawling

Wondering if there really is a sort of ‘phona-a-phobia’ (fear of phones), I immediately took to Wikipedia (my darling) to find a list (concerning Wikipedia… if I wasn’t a cash-strapped bankrupted dependent-on-younger-brother teenager I would definitely help out for fundraising but since I’m not…. readers, please help my darling…).

Some of these phobias were simply, simply…

Ok, I don’t want to have this post swamped with angry heartrending messages from people who really do suffer terribly from these phobias I’m laughing at… so please understand. I am young and naive and I don’t want to irritate anybody.

But really…

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Here are the ‘best’ phobias:

Agrizoophobia – fear of wild animals. The…. the name.. the NAME. Incredible.

Androphobia – fear of men. Hee hee hee

Anthophobia – fear of flowers. HEE HEE HEE.

Chaetophobia – fear of hair. ???? Do sufferers… how do sufferers….  forget it.

Chromophobia – fear of bright colours. Oooooooooh

Chronophobia – fear of time, of time moving forward. Wow. That’s one cool and quite disturbing fear..

Cyberphobia – fear of computers, learning new technology. (That’s my parents for sure.)

Decidophobia – fear of making decisions. (That’s me for sure.)

Dentophobia – fear of dentists and dental procedures. (Ha ha ha that’s me for suuurree.)

Disposophobia – fear of getting rid of/losing things, ‘compulsive hoarding’. (HAHAHA that’s also me for sure.)

Ergasiophobia – fear of work or functioning. (HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA THAT’S MEEE)

Erythrophobia – pathological blushing. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Friggertriskaidekaphobia, Paraskavedekatriaphobia, Paraskevidekatriaphobia - fear of Friday the 13th. HAAAAAAAA

Halitophobia – fear of bad breath. HAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAA CAN THIS GET BETTER

Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia – fear of the number 666. Wow. Epic.

Omphalophobia – fear of belly buttons. It just got better.

Papaphobia – fear of the Pope. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE….

Trichophobia – a morbid digust triggered by the sight of loose hairs. (DAD.)

 Xanthophobia – the fear of the colour yellow…. ??????????????????

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Anyway, I just wanted to let you into some of the crazy phenomena of the world of phobias.

Apologies again to real phobia sufferers of the ones above… I really meant no harm.

Have a good week everyone!

I finally end, after what seems like the longest school term in world history, on Friday.

After enjoying House Choir, the school Pantomime and the Christmas dinner of course.

3 weeks of hell revision, revising like a mad thing when what I should be doing is sleeping and eating 24/7, and then my beautiful darling little stupid GCSE mocks straight after the hols.

Basically, life is no longer worth living.

Pfft.

Feel Good Lost

Reblogged from surface & surface:

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New series of prints from Cork based creative duo Feel Good Lost aka Brendan Canty and Conal Thomson. Feel Good Lost make layered short films and visuals for the like of Mmoths, Young Wonder, Slow Skies,  Funeral Suits and a good few more and they're all there to see on Vimeo. These beautiful prints are on sale on their site or in…

Read more… 6 more words

absolutely stunningly wonderfully just... wow

To kill a Mockingbird

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To kill a Mockingbird…

(Warning: may contain spoilers)

Don’t get me started. On. The. Sheer. Oh… what adjective to choose?!

I read it two sittings: one the day before yesterday, one yesterday (actually it was today at 2:00 AM, ok, ok) and maybe it was because of the over-exposure to such great literature, I don’t know, but I was close to tears when I got near to the end and I had severe GBOS  (Great Book Obsessive Syndrome) by the time I’d finished.

Not that GBOS is unhealthy. In fact, I love it. The rush, the euphoria, the addiction, the pain when you can’t find something to satisfy your addiction…

I can just see the horrified expression on your faces.

‘How did she get the subject of drugs when she is talking about a perfectly respectable book of American literature! The cheek! The heresy! Away with it all! And not yet sixteen! I must get hold of the authorities…’ etc., etc.

But no, I am not talking about a most possibly illegal, hallucinatory drug as you suspect. This is just the concept real deal syndrome of GBOS being carried on! I’ve never done drugs of course (except for maybe The Book Thief, The Lord of the Rings series and this book among others – they gave me real overdoses of the GBOS Virus…)

Yeah… This is just…

Well, let’s get started…

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To kill a Mockingbird

Author: Harper Lee

Published: 1989, republished 42 times

First time I read it? 2nd time.

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FUNNESS: X X X X X

Very fun. Out of the point of view of a child, Scout Finch, so why wouldn’t it be? Must of the humour is only hinted at, or told bluntly, so read it carelessly and you could miss it. So, you have to read it carefully, ok? Actually, now that I think about, top the ‘very fun’, I was rolling around laughing and then laughing some more, weakly this time, from when a particular phrase or sentence got to me. Most definitely amusing, most definitely indeed…. *understatement*

GRIPPINGNESS: X X X O O – X X X X X

One of my sisters told me that she read the first page and then gave up. I would have given this a 4 out of 5, really, seeing as once I picked it up, I wouldn’t put it down. Call it a difference in preferences. Pfffft. Ok, some of the background info about the town of Maycomb and the children’s ancestors might bore you at the beginning (I didn’t find it tiring, though I suspect SOME insensitive people might…. Sniff), but all this ‘boring background information’ counts, and builds up, it really does. Don’t just pass it off… like… sniffle, sniffle…

READABILITY: X X X X O

I mean, just go for it. What’s stopping you?

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One thing before we start: I LOVE BOO RADLEY. I mean, I LOVE HIM. I really do. More on him later

Ahem.

This book is just… ingenuously written. After I’d finished I just sat there, bolt upright (at 2:00 AM, people – this book has sleep-killer qualities) just… going insane over how good it was. GBOS all round.

It was so deep. When I’d read it the first time, I didn’t really understood racism, and the Civil Right’s Movement in America and all that… But I’ve just finished a topic in GCSE History on it, and now I know too much… It was just horrible, and wrong. Lynching, name calling, murder, KKK, Brown v Board, Montgomery Bus Boycott, Little Rock nine, sit-ins, Martin Luther King… I realised that there was a whole world I’d known nothing about. Well, now I am older and wiser, I don’t know… Except I can connect to TKaM much more than I did last time. Weep…

Wow. These reflections of people, and why they do bad things, why perfectly ordinary people like the folks in Maycomb would condemn an innocent man to the chair just because he was black… They hit me hard. Not that I have personal experience about this whole business… (actually I might just make a post about racist comments made to me HAAAAA wouldn’t that be lush…), but it’s just so… Man, when I was reading, I should’ve referenced referenced referenced everything everything everything good to share to you…. Dayumm. Will go searching right away…

No way. I am overcome by the GBOS Virus again. Call that the GBOS plague. But no. I like this plague.

I am overcome, and humbled, and all my cocky superficial pride in being an okay writer smashed. ‘cos Harper Lee just smacks me in the face again and again with her awesomeness.

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‘How could they do it, how could they?’

‘I don’t know, but they did it. They’ve done it before and they did it tonight and they’ll do it again and when they do it – seems that only children weep. Good night.’

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Look, I know you’re probably thinking ‘This girl is missing some marbles.’ And I know this quote, out of the blue, is really out of context and doesn’t affect you in any way unless you do, like me, love and cherish TKaM. So… “Read it!’ (My favourite quote of mine, which is narcissistic, I know). And get into the magic when a word or phrase in a book moves you. Get infected by GBOS. You need a good dose of it, sometimes, when the world seems so dreary and nothing will be great anymore…

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‘Naw, Jem, I think there’s just one kind of folks. Folks.’

‘That’s what I thought, too,’ he said at last. ‘when I was your age. If there’s just one kind of folks, why can’t they just get along with each other? Scout, I think I’m beginning to understand something. I think I’m beginning to understand why Boo Radley’s stayed shut up in the house all the time… it’s because he wants to stay inside.’

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Jem provides a lot of the deep insight into life.

And this brings me back to the subject of Boo or Arthur Radley beautifully.

In the beginning of the book, Boo Radley was the prime and growing obsession for the Finch children, Scout (real name Jean Louise) and Jem Finch, and their new friend Dill. You know when you’re a child you have these little crazes or obsessions? (I had loads of course….) This part of the book reflects that. And later on the obsession with Boo Radley fades… just as every single one of those childhood obsessions faded for me. It’s so real, and true.

Boo Radley.

I just want to give him a cuddle, I really do. He’s just so… uggh, I mean he… he saved the Finch children’s lives!!! And then he was in the house with Scout and Scout didn’t know it was him and she didn’t know he’d saved her not Jem and then she realised and then and then she was like ‘Hey, Boo,’ and then her eyes blossomed or overflowed with tears or something and I cried to and oh…

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I’m sorry.

This is such a short review and all

All I’ve written (having re-read it) is about how much of a great book it is, a bit about the Civil Rights Movement, hallucinatory illegal drugs and how much I obsess over Boo Radley.

Apart from worrying, my poor review writing skills have become primitive.

I sincerely apologize.

I haven’t even written about the trial, Atticus Finch, and all the beautiful finer details of the book… *sobs*

I will publish this, see what happens, and since my conscience will not let me alone because I know I haven’t done this book justice, I will come again and fix and write more.

But… it really is the most incredible book.

My Blog’s First Birthday… and I missed it.

I found that my blogs birthday had been on the 25th of September, which was two month ago, I believe. And now I hate myself. Boohoo…

I found out after visiting my stats.

From 6 views last Oct, to 1994 views this Oct.

I am humbled touched and THRILLED TO BITS extremely thankful… :’)

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Of course, I have also been incredibly lazy, only managing to post a meagre… 29 posts.

Pffft.

Ok, to be fair, I have 15 current drafts *embarrassment* which hopefully will be out soon… *sweat*

So,

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR TERRIBLY SORRY

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUU

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Gosh, I’m being egoistic…

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you know you love me

Love from,

ESTHER

Terribly Sorry

PS. 30 POSTS NOW!!! get me…

Official inauguration of my Korea section

These days, I’ve been a little… lazy on this blog. Sorry. I won’t neglect, my one and only baby!

It’s because of one thing…

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How to ruin your life:

Step 1: Join Tumblr

#so true

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Ahem. OK, Tumblr is fantastic no doubt, but in fact a little too fantastic in that I’m spending far too much time on it instead of over here. Tumblr is where I satisfy all my darkest deepest K-Pop desires. No joking.

Ok, so that’s another thing I’ve revealed about myself.

Readers familiar with my blog will already know that I’m a 15 year old Korean-born-in-England lover of books and music, enjoys writing snarky reviews of everything and is a pretty weird person who also loves fashion, art, films and being a general Renaissance babe and who still despite everything tries to be cute and approachable yet cool, lofty, charismatic, proud, arrogant and egoistic and untouchable at the same time (99% of the time that fails, but I can dream…).

(You didn’t know that? Well, now you do. Snigger.)

Added to that is your knowledge that I am Korea’s number one fan and good or not I will always love everything to do with Korea… which includes it’s celebrities, comedians, gossip, idols and of course the Hallyu wave and K-Pop. (Shall I lie and say that I’m not an expert on the subject?!) All that jazz will be under my sub category called simply ‘K-Pop’. Wa-hey~! I know you’re excited for that debut too!

Well, I see the skeptical look on your face. (‘K-pop? Isn’t it just that weird fellow doing the horse dance in Gangnam Style? She wants to write about that and other crazy boy and girl groups jumping around like crazy?!! Pffffffft) But trust me… one day you might be a BANA, B2TY, BBC, Blackjack, Hottest, V.I.P., Melody, Cassiopeia, Exotic, Inspirit, LEDA, ELF and Sone… (just a few of the names of fan clubs for various different groups. Aha, you’re confused and intrigued, right?!) You just haven’t discovered that your life wasn’t complete without K-pop. Not. Even. Kidding.

My K-pop category will be one I will update frequently, I hope. My general Korea category is for my general love and dreams for the country, and my eternal delusional soliloquies my hopes and dreams of going there once my GCSEs are finished and done and dusted… *sigh*

I really needed to have this section in my blog. Because I really needed to join my two separate worlds of crazy, spazztastic K-pop and my more genteel, refined book review world. I could have started another blog… but I am too attached to this one to budge one bit.

Right! So soon, look out for my masterclass on how to become as big headed a Koreaphile as me!!! Heh heh heh

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Love from Me

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I love to Rant

Yr 11 is not fun.

In fact, it is hideous.

Yeah, well, I guess I’ll get used to it. I’ll have to.

Yr 8 to Year 9 – considerable increase of difficulty and workload.

Year 9 to Year 10 – again an even bigger increase of difficulty and workload. That, I can handle.

But having teachers sit you down and go all serious and say, ‘Right, you’re taking your GCSEs this year, and you’ll have to work hard from now on…’ etc. is not a good feeling.

In fact, it’s depressing.

It’s even more depressing with the fact that moving onto Yr 12 and then Yr 13 later on will mean yet another increase of workload and difficulty. In fact, whatever slimy teachers say, I know that the jump from GCSE level to A level is very big.

Which means GCSEs can be described as easy-peasy.

Which makes me even more depressed because that’s not the impression I’m getting…

Yeah, fine, OK.

I will probably get used to it.

I will probably get used to sleeping at 1:30 AM every night, getting up at 8:00 AM every morning 30 minutes before registration, getting homework overloads every day, feeling like nothing is ever going to work out, wondering if I can even wish for a single A* in my results next year..

Brrr. Can’t even think of them.

Wondering if I’ll ever be able to revise efficiently, wondering if I will live up to my parent’s expectations, wondering what I’ll do if I don’t…

My parents have told me that they won’t mind if I don’t do that well.

But I know that they want me to do well, really.

I mean, who wouldn’t?

I took a sort of ‘IQ’ test last year.

Turns out I have a very high (off the scale, in fact) reasoning level.

But I wasn’t fawning over myself with self adoration.

In fact, quite the opposite.

I was reading with horror the lines under my result – ‘High reasoning people often get bored of doing repetitive work. This may lead to inefficient revision as a result of boredom, and therefore the achievement of not-very-good results. Therefore High Reasoning Person = (most of the time, esp. in my case) Underachiever.

Underachiever.

Underachiever.

Underachiever.

The word is the epitome of disaster.

Even hearing it brings shivers down my spine.

‘That’s what I am,’ I told myself. ‘An underachiever.’

I promptly came down with ‘I-don’t-wanna-do-this-no-more’ syndrome + depression.

I wanted to bawl like a baby.

Underachiever.

Because I knew it was so so so true.

I AM an underachiever.

Big time.

Every time I think I’m gonna smash it. Doesn’t turn out that way most of the time.

Well *sigh*… That’s life.

End of my rant.

Cos you know what?

I’m off to do my homework.

Might as well die working.

Animated Tower - NOTsoNOISY / HESAV

Reblogged from surface & surface:

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Deadly little video by Swiss artist Guillaume Reymond aka NOTsoNOISY and Trivial Mass Production.  Together with a group of 110 people at the University of Health Sciences in Switzerland they turned the facade of their building into an analog 10 x 11 display turning the sliding shutters and window opes into pixels. The results are worth a watch.

www.notsonoisy.com

Wow. Incredible! The things people can achieve through determination and perseverance.